Vineyard Has a Power Problem

At the advice of Vineyard USA and their attorney, I am not to comment publicly on my experience or report, therefore, I find it prudent to remind readers that these are my own opinions, with the exception of the attached emails. The email from Vineyard USA shared in full below did not bear a confidentiality notice.

Last November, I shared my story of sexual assault and the subsequent institutional abuse and betrayal of the evangelical denomination* Vineyard USA (VUSA). I knew going into it that there were risks involved. I knew some Christians would label me bitter or write me off because I’m no longer in the Church. I knew people would question the validity of my story. I had to sit with myself and decide that I would not let the opinions of anyone else, including a dominant institution, control my decision. There were a series of emails exchanged between myself, my parents, and VUSA’s Managing Director and designated liaison, Robb Morgan. It was exhausting reading VUSA’s oblique communication about the investigation and experience that I had been dealing with for seven years. The emails were compromised of indirect responses to questions, constantly noting the supposed “hundreds of thousands of dollars” they’d spent on “addressing these allegations,” and blame games. I did receive two letters, one from VUSA and the other from LVC regarding my experience. Neither mentioned the sexual assault and both were pinning blame onto anyone they could without taking full responsibility. With each email, it was as if a gaping wound would start to heal only to be ripped open.

I felt frustrated that my plea for an apology and acknowledgement two years prior developed into this, however, I felt good about my decision to share my story and began to accept the outcome. On January 24th, 2023, this would change.

What were they so afraid of people finding out?

Did Vineyard stand to lose power by people starting to question them?

How were they still able to avoid accountability?

Before you read the email, I’d like to clarify some things that VUSA got wrong.

Firstly, the GRACE report in my article was attached in full. The sections that were attached in the body of the article were about my specific experience and the credibility and motive of myself and the abuser.

Secondly, the names of individuals in the report were not included in my article or shared on social media at any point.

Thirdly, the abuser was not even included in this email nor was there any mention of the sexual assault.

Lastly, upon receiving my report, I had every right to distribute it as communicated from GRACE to me on multiple occasions.

VUSA had their way with confidentiality as they advocated that the abuser’s name not be added to the report. I was told that this was due to him being a minor at the time of the assault.

Below, I have redacted the names of the two individuals included in the report and my email address. Leader 1 and VUL2 are the pseudonyms used in the original report.

This is intimidation and a common tactic used by abusers called DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.) At this point, VUSA had stated to me and my family multiple times (!!!) that they spent “hundreds of thousands of dollars” on supposedly addressing allegations and institutional issues. While addressing their institutional policies and procedures is needed, were one of those dollars spent on care for the victims of abuse in their churches? Have they actually listened to what survivors want or need?

Well, according to Robb Morgan, VUSA has “learned about the needs of victims, power dynamics, trauma informed practices and we’ve listened to folks who told their story in the hotline process.”

What more do you need than three men sitting around praising themselves for having responses that reflect the “pastoral heart of Jesus.”?

As emphasized in the email, the report was inconclusive which is not uncommon for investigations into sexual assault. I see this day in and day out working with survivors of sexual violence. The Rape Abuse Incest National Network says that out of every 1,000 sexual assaults, 310 are reported to law enforcement, 50 reports lead to arrest, 28 lead to a felony conviction and 25 perpetrators will be incarcerated — 975 perpetrators walk free. The vast majority of survivors do not report and according to recent CDC numbers, over half of women and nearly 1 in 3 men experience sexual violence in their lifetime. These numbers are even higher for BIPOC and LGBTQ+ folx. If reported and taken to court, credibility is often a large factor used by prosecution and credibility was addressed in the report.

After publishing my article in November, story after story came pouring in to my email and social media accounts. I expected some people to relate, but not nearly as many as those that shared with me. Folks across the United States and globally disclosed with me the misuse and abuse of power in Vineyard churches and other denominations. They shared that their attempts at closure or justice had been shut down or dismissed by leaders. They shared that they’d endured ostracism from their church communities and anguish at being abandoned by those they called friends. One Vineyard survivor wrote to me the following…

“I’ve felt like I was the only one for 13 years. Thank you for talking about what really happens behind the scenes. When it happened to me they blamed me for getting drunk rather than holding him accountable. He stayed leading and I lost everything.”

Most of the survivors that reached out to me had been abused by a peer in some leadership position or by someone in connection with those in leadership. If they chose to disclose, they were met with blame and/or defense of the abuser. Some were sent to biblical counseling or prayer for their issues. The abuser continued on with normal life while the survivor was left alone to face a lifetime of living with the trauma.

In the midst of this, a Vineyard pastor unexpectedly contacted me. He was apologetic and expressed empathy for what my family and I had experienced. He didn’t question my story or try to defend the Church. Instead, he validated my story and asked me if VUSA had taken the recommendations outlined in the report seriously (they did not.) He invited me to share fully what we had been through. I was shocked as this was not how any other pastor or leader still within VUSA had treated me, with the exception of one former Vineyard pastor who has advocated for my family and I since the beginning.

Soon after, he asked my permission to contact VUSA. He sent the following email and as I expected they have attempted to placate him. This individual gave me consent to share his email, so to protect his privacy I have redacted his name and email address. For context, RV refers to me, the reported victim, RO refers to reported offender, LV1 is the mother of the abuser and pastor of the church, LVC.

Robb,

(I’ve included Jay in this email because it seemed to me like the right thing to do.)

I recently emailed you with questions about the situation in Duluth and what we have and haven’t been told about it. Since then I’ve learned about a previous investigation done by GRACE at another Vineyard church that also included a look into the ways in which VUSA was involved in that situation. I’ve read over the documents involved, at least the documents I am aware of, and I would like to ask you some questions and make some observations.

I’m writing this as a pastor of a Vineyard church but I’m also writing as a father and grandfather.

I’ve only just this week learned about the situation involving a young woman from Ohio who experienced alleged sexual misconduct by another youth, the pastor’s son, at a Vineyard in Columbus. You’re well aware of the situation and have been in contact with the reporting victim’s family. I’ve spent hours going over the GRACE report from that investigation and some of the follow up communication between you, LVC and the reporting victim and her family.

As a pastor, father and grandfather, I was heartbroken by the details of her story. Unlike the situation in Duluth, these were not acts perpetrated by an adult against a minor, but they were, reportedly, traumatic and emotionally damaging. And any time something like this happens in the context of the Church where relationships, power, God and our identity are all enmeshed, the slightest misstep can cause the gravest of consequences.

My questions pertain to the recommendations that were made to VUSA and LVC by GRACE, what has or has not been done about them and the tone of the communications that I am aware of have taken place.

I would appreciate your feedback in helping me to understand what I have read.

First, you indicate that you believe the GRACE report was inconclusive. Robb, what was your expectation of what GRACE would be able to tell you? As they indicate, guilt and innocence are not part of their scope. They also indicate that it was, as the consistent story of the reporting victim made clear, her word against his word. This is almost always the case with situations of sexual abuse, and sexual interference. What was surprising to me is that you and the others on your list read the same report I read but seemed to conclude that GRACE had no opinions. The GRACE report, particularly their recommendations, makes it abundantly clear that 1) they found the reporting victim credible and her story credible, 2) the leverage of personal gain and loss favored her as the person with the most to lose and least to gain, and 3) very specific and egregious mistakes made in the handling of this situation by almost everyone on the Vineyard side of the story.

A disinterested third party would not read this document and conclude that GRACE had ended with the scales evenly balanced between the reporting victim and the reported offender. This isn’t just conjecture on my part. When I shared this report and information with a recognized authority in cases of church abuse who has been quoted in numerous publications, on-line articles and on news reports, she saw the same thing I saw. She wrote, “It appears the church is purposefully focusing on GRACE not being a judge/jury when they knew going into this that was not the case. They seem to be minimizing the credibility portion, which is what GRACE was hired to find out about. So, why did they hire GRACE if they knew GRACE wasn’t a court of law but then only focused on the small portion pointing out GRACE is not a court of law instead of the detailed findings that was the point of the investigation? Seem sketchy to me.”

It seems sketchy to me as well.

I’m wondering how many people who didn’t have something invested and who aren’t connected to VUSA and LVC’s pastor in some way were allowed to read over this report and share their reflections? It seems pertinent given that GRACE repeatedly refers to the inherent conflicts of interest involved in this situation.

Can you tell me who read this from outside the Vineyard and was “arm’s length” enough to offer their impressions of what it said? Not a “legal opinion” but a Christ centered kingdom perspective.

The report says, “GRACE did not find that L1 and L2 sought to cover up the allegation. However,” However is such a big word in this context isn’t it? “However, L1 and L2 appeared to use their position to control the content and the context of the information that was presented to VUSA, and they delayed the report to VUSA until allegations became public rather than responding when informed of the extent of possible harm to RV. While not conduct amounting to cover-up of the allegations, the failure to timely seek outside, independent counsel and involvement inhibited RV’s opportunity to discuss the allegations openly with an unbiased leader and elevated RO’s protection over necessary care and respect of RV.” That’s called “an abuse of power” and leveraging their position for the RO to have the advantage of their protection. This is pastoral malpractice.

Was it your expectation that GRACE would tell you what to do with this information and you would just carry out their directions? Or did you and VUSA think that GRACE would simply give you their findings and you would have to determine what to do about a Vineyard pastor who had committed malpractice? Your response reads as if GRACE’s report exonerates the RO and LV1 and it does not.

Here’s something I hope we can agree is very clear.

“GRACE recommends that VUSA and/or LVC provide generous funding to assist RV. GRACE recommends that this also include any past therapy costs that a reported victim paid.”

Have VUSA or LVC sent any money to assist RV with therapy costs? If not, why not? Please don’t insist to me that the hundreds of thousands of dollars VUSA is spending on GRACE and Guideposts meets this recommendation. Objectively, it does not. This seems like the barest of minimums we could do given that our local and national organization made a painful, traumatic situation many, many times worse for RV and her family — as documented by GRACE. It is not an overstatement to say that the subsequent treatment of RV and her family by LVC and VUSA were more traumatizing than the initial event (and I am not downplaying the initial event in saying that). The beneficiary of the GRACE report and whatever Guideposts is working on now is clearly NOT RV but rather, and exclusively, VUSA.

I would very much like to see RV receive financial compensation to assist with expenses incurred from past, present and future therapy connected to this event. Listening to lawyers about what this may or may not lead to is not a very Jesusy approach or a kingdom way of relating to people.

In the report recommendations I was disheartened to read, “GRACE recommends Vineyard USA, or other entity as appropriate within Vineyard’s governance structure, contract with an independent third party to investigate allegations of sexual assault that were made to GRACE and reported to Vineyard USA leadership. The allegations involved alleged victims and alleged perpetrators who were not a part of this investigation.” Robb, that’s plural. Victims. Perpetrators.

When was Vineyard USA going to tell us about this? It doesn’t seem very transparent to keep this shocking news secret. It seems like a systemic problem we should all be talking about and doing something about right now. How many names are on the list you received? Was Jackson Gatlin on that list? Did the investigation into Duluth start because of this list? What additional information has GRACE provided to VUSA about these allegations? As a pastor, a father and grandfather I find this information disturbing, that it was kept from me, I find unconscionable.

And definitely not transparent.

Jay recently said, “…everything has to come out, everything has to come into the light…It’s important that everything comes out into the light.” — Jay Pathak, National Director of VUSA. (https://vineyardusa.org/update-regarding-brenda-and-michael-gatlin/) but it seems like we didn’t include this GRACE report in that “everything.” Perhaps we just want “everything” at Duluth to come out. But it seems like that “everything” should include this GRACE report too so we can see how things have been handled and how we don’t want them to be handled. It seems like “everything” should include the disclosure that in light of what was happening at LVC, somehow a whole list of perpetrators and victims at other Vineyard churches was developed.

At least this GRACE report seemed to think it was important.

They recommended “…that VUSA and LVC develop a plan to assure this incident remains in its institutional memory, which may help decrease the likelihood of a similar incident.” Not “incidents like this” or “case studies about bad behaviors” but this very incident would be something that we pastors of VUSA — we who hold the collective memory of our institution — we pastors who are on the front line of everyday life where incidents like this actually occur (when was the last time the VUSA offices had a game of sardines on site?) — clearly we are the ones who should know this story so that we never repeat what happened to this young woman after she told her story.

Finally, I was struck by the consistency of the ask from the Reporting Victim. She never wavered in the report or in anything I read from her singular request that would have given her closure and perhaps the beginnings of healing and reconciliation. She asked for an acknowledgement of the wrong that had been done and an apology. That’s a very low bar for us to respond to. In the GRACE report it even states that LV1 and LV2 had their son write an apology letter, the RO says that he wrote the letter but then the letter was never delivered because the RV wasn’t at their church anymore. The RO says the letter is lost now.

How much effort would you assess that it would have taken to get that letter — given every other ounce of energy that was put into this by LV1, LV2, the area leaders, church board members, the regional leader, etc. — why did no one — apparently — say, “hey, sit down and re-write the apology letter”? Such a simple request from the RV, just a simple human thing to do, but no one followed up on it? VUSA does not need ecclesiastical powers to say to LV1, “hey, can’t you just ask your son to re-write the letter?” or to even say to RO, now that they are an adult, “hey, can’t you just rewrite the letter? We’ll help you get it written and deliver it for you?” If we really are a relational movement, what if we tried actually sitting down and having this conversation with RO and see where that gets us?

Instead, the requests, the much harder requests, all flow toward the Reporting Victim. She was repeatedly asked to tell her story — an action that outside of a safe, therapeutic context just retraumatizes the victim. She was repeatedly asked to forgive far more times than the RO was asked to write an apology. She was asked to maintain confidentiality which can only be interpreted by a victim as a demand to keep your secret. While all parties are advised to refrain from public communication via social media, you single out the RV by name and not the RO or others, re-enforcing the impression that she has done something wrong and that telling her story, the story of what she believes happened to her, is also wrong.

And it’s not. It’s never wrong to tell the story of what happened to you. That’s called a testimony. People will choose to believe your story or not, as this situation at LVC demonstrates. So this just seems like more protection through the use of power and authority meant to protect the RO. While I believe that there is a degree to which the RO has been victimized by the adults handling this, it does not justify the ongoing misuse of power. When did the kingdom become a matter of circling the wagons rather than laying down our lives and reputations for one another?

What I wonder is if you can see that?

Here’s the deal, as a father and grandfather, if you wrote this response to me or my daughter or granddaughter, I would be crushed, I would feel abandoned, I would feel like every previous expression of apology or condolences amounted to the now cliché “thoughts and prayers.”

I would be livid. I would lament.

And I would tell everyone I knew.

As a Vineyard pastor, I’m very upset that I had to stumble on this information. Perhaps there was an email I missed in which you shared the link to the GRACE report and, just as importantly, a link to the information about GRACE providing you with a list of perpetrators and victims elsewhere in the Vineyard. I invite you to please correct me if you have.

Here’s what I hope for. That someone will take 15 minutes and reach out to the RO and say, something like, “hey, you’re a man now and it’s time to be an adult. Please re-write the apology and send it to us in a sealed envelope and we will deliver it to the RV unread.” It would probably be useful for a therapist to be enlisted in giving the RO some guidance on what an authentic apology would include. But it should be something like this,

“RV, I hurt you and touched you in a way that you did not welcome or want. I was wrong. I made you feel confused, betrayed, and shamed. As your friend, I should have known better and treated you with respect. As an adult now I understand better how hurtful this experience was and I can see it left you with a tremendous amount of weight to carry around on your soul. For all of that, I am truly sorry. I promise you that this would never happen today, I am not that 14 year old boy, and I promise you it will never happen again. I ask for your forgiveness but hold no expectation over you that you have to give it to me.”

Robb, thank you for letting me share some of my thoughts about this situation with you. I find it deeply troubling. If I can be of any help beyond sharing these thoughts, I am very interested in being a part of a solution and not just a critic. As a Vineyard church pastor and a father and grandfather, I want us to do better, I need us to do better and I will contribute to our getting however I can and however you will allow me to. Personally, I believe this begins with our responsibility to make things right with this young woman.

I was astounded reading this email. I had been waiting for so long for someone on the inside to see what I felt was clear about VUSA’s handling of this situation. He communicated in a way that needed to be heard.

Vineyard USA needs to be held accountable.

So, who holds Vineyard USA accountable?

This is the question I have been grappling with. If they only listen to the voices in their echo chamber, what justice is there for victims? They claim to be learning. They claim to be apologetic. They claim to be listening to Guidepost Solutions. But do their public words really match their actions behind closed doors?

Survivors deserve better than this.

If you are a survivor of Vineyard church abuse reading this, I believe you.

Your story matters and telling it is never wrong.

We will not be silenced.

*Vineyard USA officially considers themselves a "movement."

I had come home from an exhausting day of work, I settled down and opened my email inbox on my phone. An email (attached below) from Robb Morgan popped up with the subject line, “GRACE Report: Additional Communication.” I began reading, my heart starting to palpitate at what my eyes were taking in. The first thing I noticed was that eleven VUSA pastors, leaders, and staff AND their attorney — business and entertainment attorney to be exact (ironic, I know) were included in this email. The second thing I saw was that VUSA concluded that the pastor who, according to the investigating agency (GRACE), used her position of power to “control the content and context of information that was presented to VUSA” and “delayed the report to VUSA until allegations became public…” did nothing that would disqualify her from her position of power. They did not mention her son who had assaulted me in 2016.

The email continued, which you will see below, with “Expectations Moving Forward.” I began hyperventilating when I saw that just below their section on confidentiality, they “advised” me by name to stop sharing publicly about “this matter.” I remembered the words of the pastors in the report, calling for a gag order for me. I felt like I was going to be sick. Finally, I had confirmation that they were and would continue to protect the people that abused me and I knew that it wouldn't stop at me. It also raised some questions.

Poem written by Benjamin Miller

Screenshot from vineyardusa.org

Click on the document to read.

Text cut off: “matter. Public posts that comment on and screenshot only sections of the report go against the advice of GRACE…”